Windsurf Mum | Say Bye to Tiger Mum

by Mary Ann Mok ( Mui & Cowboy Mum )

My younger son’s nickname is “Cowboy” and hence my friends called me “Cow Mum”. I wonder if you know I was once a Tiger Mum which I regret so much.  

 

I regret being once a Tiger Mum which leaves deep and lasting scars in my children’s memories. This indelible taint in my life prompted me to learn to be a “good mother” from now onwards.

 

It took me a very long time before I can get rid of this nightmare. Even today, I cannot forgive myself forcing my kids to take supplementary lessons which they are drilled like mechanical robots. In order to put my daughter into the Catholic Primary School that I admire, I once had a dilemma whether I should deprive the choice of my daughter to choose her own religion. I had a very traumatic experience teaching Cowboy academic subjects every night when I came back from my work. I was really mad at him when he did not do well academically. I lost my temper and beat him up fiercely. This nightmare went on for a long time until I found Cowboy having no response to my yelling and beating.

Parenting has always been a very difficult thing, and it is even harder to be a parent in Hong Kong. Hong Kong is a highly competitive city and people living here is under constant pressure. Toddlers who don’t even know how to speak in a sentence were already forced by their Tiger parents to learn other languages apart from their mother tongue. However, the irony is that no matter how many languages that the child mastered, they don’t even have half an hour conversation with their parents. This might probably due to the fully-packed extra-curricular activities that the child had to attend each day, not to say parents were degenerated to be mere drivers and were over-exhausted. Quality time between parents and children were totally deprived.

 

 

Take your kids to the beach. Beach activities are good for both the mind and the body.  Having fun under the sun can relieve the child‘s stress and emotions, making them more cheerful and positive.

 

Motivate your children to take up a sport. Exercise can keep them strong and healthy. It enables them to express their feelings and build their esteem, self confident, boost friendship and build relationship with their peers and adults.

 

Children draw inspiration from the beauty, color and the natural aspect of the beaches. Beaches enable them to display their creativity.

 

In the 1960s, the economy of Hong Kong was still behind and people were not so well-off. Parents in those days were very contended if they can make a living and provide food for their family. It is a luxury for people who have a chance to study at University. In those days, once a child becomes a doctor or a lawyer, the quality of life can be improved tremendously. Therefore, it is fully understood that why parents of the old days were so keen to send their children to universities.

However, Hong Kong has become very rich nowadays. Today, parents are more educated than their predecessors. Why do they still use the same set of thinking and only blindly believe that their children will have a brilliant life after graduating from the top universities? They kept saying that they should let their children grow up happily, but had they thought about what they were doing every day are merely things they want to satisfy their own self or the community, or whether they are really thinking from their child’s point of view.

 

 

Both the Chief Executive of HKSAR, Mrs Carrie Lam (right) and Mui (left) are past students of St Francis’ Canossian College who have their own vision and dream.  A good school needs to nurture their students’ all-round development as well as their intellectual development. Its focus on teaching children how to become independent, self-motivated learners. It ensures that they meet each particular child’s developmental needs and interests. The goal of education is to prepare children not only for school but for life.

 

No one knows how to be a competent parent when he comes to this world. Every parent is learning every day ever since his child is born. Having an unpleasant experience of being a Tiger Mum, I wish to remind my dear friends and other parents not to fall into the abyss of “Tiger Parent”.

I recalled the bad memories when I was a Tiger Mum. During those days, I was really mad and exhausted both physically and mentally. There were only yelling and crying at home and the family was getting more alienated. I am fortunate to wake up from the extremely frustrated and lost state by picking up “windsurfing”.  The sport strengthens both my body and mind so that I can cope with the hectic office work and the household chores. When I windsurf on weekends, I can release my pressure and relax. I can fully enjoy my personal time and refresh myself.

Through contact with Nature, I rediscover my true self. While I go windsurfing, I keep a clear head and don’t have to bother about the saying of other people. I can clearly hear the voice from my heart telling me what is true happiness, what is my core value of life, what are the most important things for my children and what are their real interest etc......

 

I feel so shameful that I have never cooked a decent meal for my family until last year when my domestic helper was on a long vacation. I discovered that happiness can be just as simple as a hearty chat among family members at the dinner without cell phone interruptions.

 

 

The bond between my children and their grandparents are strong and loving. They will go “Yum Cha” (Chinese style morning tea) with their grandparents whenever possible. Thanks to this bond, they get to experience more affection and developed a stronger and happier person. Grandparents offer their grandchildren a unique perspective that comes with life experience.

 

The most fascinating aspect of windsurfing is that we have to face different environmental factors every time we go to sea. It is because every time we windsurf, the climate, wind speed, current and geographical condition will not be the same. We only count on our past experiences, technical knowledge, judgment and endurance to manoeuver the sail and board in harmony with nature and the sea.

From windsurfing, I gradually realize the importance to maintain “balance” and “harmony” in life. In the past, I only stubbornly used my own perspective and method to deal with things. But now, I will try to think more from the perspective of my husband and children. I will put “family harmony” in the first place and try my best to balance the needs of all parties. At times when my children cannot accomplish a certain task or get rid of their bad habit, I will tell myself to relax and don’t be too long-winded. I have learned to allow more time and personal space for one another.

 

 

Mui (middle) pictured with Lee Lai San (right) Hong Kong’s first Olympic gold medalist and Sam Wong (left) well-known Hong Kong windsurfer at a sports event. Mui loved both diving and windsurfing when she was a kid. Eventually, when she has to focus on one sport, it was all her decision to go for the later.

 

Parents need to take time and patience to help their children explore their interests. Parents are encouraged to escort their children to discover the fun in the activities and help them through the tough times.

 

 

Mui (right) like other kids took piano lessons when she was young. She was lucky that I did not put pressure on her to complete examinations. She found it so easy to pick up the Ukulele when she suddenly fell in love with this musical instrument. Music and art are for enjoyment and appreciation. It loses its meaning when the parent forces their children to take music/art lessons aiming to achieve higher scores at school.

 

Ever since I put this practice into my daily life, to my surprise, there were significant changes in my family. Family members have begun to communicate more with one another and there was growing intimacy in the family. Recently, I was so pleased to find Cowboy has become more mature.  He is no longer just a guy who only indulged in eating, sleeping and playing computer games. Finally, Cowboy discovered his interest, drawn up his personal goal and has great incentive to learn.

 

Once children find their true passion in life, they will set their own goal. Having a clear goal makes him work harder, focus more and perform better.

 

(From left) Cheng Kwok Fai, Chan Hei Man, Mui and Leung Ho Tsun are four lucky athletes who find their true passion for windsurfing and set it as their life goal. Windsurfing enables them to travel the world, broaden their horizons and make new friends.

 

Finally, I hope that all parents can slow down, and spare some time to think about if you and your family are living happily. If you really love your family, may I invite you and your family to experience windsurfing this summer?

Related Posts

  • NOBODY is trash | CURVO is not trash
    NOBODY is trash | CURVO is not trash

    by Mary Ann Mok (Mui & Cowboy Mum)  When you label someone as trash, have you ever think of the consequence? Labels suck. So do labellers. I beg you all not to use derogatory terms to label people. Parents in particular, don’t ever use such labels to hurt your children any more. Such consequences can always be so destructive that is far beyond your imagination…..   NOBODY is trash. CURVO is not trash….. Every CURVO has a story behind. Ching Ming Festival, a traditional Chinese festival also known as Tomb Sweeping Day has just passed. It was sad to remember a cousin who died young.  Ever...

  • 破解標籤的魔咒 | 一切從垃圾說起
    破解標籤的魔咒 | 一切從垃圾說起

    by Mary Ann Mok (大頭媽/牛媽) 我係咪一件「垃圾」,唔係由你定斷。當你話人家係一件垃圾嘅同時,不如先問吓你自己又有幾咁唔似一件垃圾。當你標籤人家嘅時候,有無諗過後果會有幾嚴重?奉勸各位朋友,特別係天下嘅父母,無論你嘅子女有多激心,都千祈唔好再鬧佢哋係「垃圾」,唔好再話生舊叉燒好過生你。   「垃圾+垃圾+垃圾,從此唔再係一件垃圾......CURVO可能係世上垃圾中嘅極品。」 清明節剛過去,很傷感緬懷一個英年早逝的堂弟。年少時的堂弟,就是一個被社會標籤為無心向學,紀律欠奉,沒有前途的「垃圾」。當年,被視為冇得救的曳仔,大多會被屋企送往赤柱航海學校(赤航)寄宿。大概因為堂弟擺脫不了這個「垃圾」標籤,終於結束了自己的生命。  其實,只要當年堂弟能夠容忍一時之氣,制定好自己的目標,再用一套正確的方法、堅毅不屈、持續向目標進發,深信他總有一日能夠狠狠還那些瞧不起他的人一個耳光。盼望在天國的他能看到這些年,赤航出了不少傑出校友,包括海事處副處長曾文清、著名填詞人鄭國江、運動健將謝瑞麟和戚浩賢,他倆為香港歷史性奪得亞洲帆船錦標賽420船種銀牌。此外,近年赤航更有不少學生考進大學,打破赤航仔讀唔成書嘅標籤。今時今日,透過赤航上下一心的多年努力,學生已在不同範疇包括紀律部隊、酒店業及餐飲業有良好的發展,睇怕現今已再沒有人引用「垃圾」一詞去標籤赤航仔了。  圖片提供: 謝...

  • Dance with the Dragon  | It takes Two to Tango
    Dance with the Dragon | It takes Two to Tango

    by Mary Ann Mok (Mui & Cowboy Mum)    If there is such a category as obstacle race in the Olympic Windsurfing, I have no doubt that the Hong Kong windsurfing athletes will sure to take the lead. One can never imagine how crowded Hong Kong can be especially when you have to squeeze into the subway train at rush hours, shuffle into a lift shoulder-to-shoulder…..queuing up for table at restaurants on holiday and not to mention the claustrophobic experience that you have to fight your way in the water when you go windsurfing at Hong Kong beaches.    A post shared by 捕風一族Hiwindlover (@...

  • 與龍共舞 | 締造和諧的海灘
    與龍共舞 | 締造和諧的海灘

    by Mary Ann Mok (大頭媽/牛媽 ) 假若奧運會滑浪風帆項目能加設障礙賽,深信香港運動員肯定坐亞望冠。活在香港這個地小人多的地方,香港人實在很哀哉! 每日除咗好可憐逼地鐵番工放工,仲要出盡九牛二虎之力,擠入呼吸大力啲都會過重嘅升降機,到咗假日又要和成村人爭位飲茶,就連去沙灘玩滑浪風帆都要擠在丁方嘅水裏滑行。 話雖如此,赤柱的泥鯭風(時大時細的窒風),加上障礙重重的環境限制,就正是孕育一等一滑浪風帆高手的搖籃。相信只有曾經在赤柱玩過水上活動的朋友,才能體會到要和滑浪風帆、帆船、快艇、獨木舟、立式划槳再加上龍舟一齊爭路的苦況,這是一般人難以想像的事情。假若你能在這極狹窄和交通極混亂的局面下殺出一條血路,你已可晉身一等一高手行列。   A post shared by 捕風一族Hiwindlover (@hiwindlover_water_sport_centre) on May 26, 2017 at 10:48pm PDT    錄像提供:捕風一族         當你可以在這史上最擠迫的航道滑行時,你已大有機會晉身滑浪風帆高手行列。 自從赤柱正灘水上活動中心啟用後,可供各水上活動器材下水進出的範圍已經變得很局限,再加上近年赤柱龍訓練中心的成立,海面上的交通就變得更惡劣。深信大家都明白到海灘是屬於大眾市民,而非個別水上活動中心或屬會,所以盼望大家...

  • 50s | Your Life Has Just Begun
    50s | Your Life Has Just Begun

    by Mary Ann Mok ( Mui & Cowboy Mum )All videos/photos courtesy of Headmaster Herbert NgWhen most people who enter their mid 50s start to find themselves worthless and useless, on the contrary I think that this moment is just the beginning of a gorgeous life. It is inevitable that we have to face physical decline, slow reflexes and mental capacities to diminish. However, as long as we can grasp the valuable lessons that we learned from our past experiences and develop it into our own life philosophy, I trust that we can all spice up the rest of our life and bring back all the fun, passio...

  • 夕陽無限好 人生剛起步
    夕陽無限好 人生剛起步

    by Mary Ann Mok (大頭媽/牛媽 )感謝校長Herbert Ng提供所有錄像/圖片當大部份活過半百歲的人在抱怨自己要登上垃圾車,準備跳進堆填區的時候,我卻相反地體驗到這刻才是絢爛人生的起步。年過五十,要面對體能下降,思路變得遲鈍是不爭的事實,但只要我們能好好把握前半生所經歷的甜酸苦辣,再融合從人生領悟到的道理,下半場的球賽,肯定會踢得更精彩。 六十歲才開始學跳傘、七十歲登陸珠穆朗瑪峰、八十歲在北極插旗,這一切壯舉都曾經令我感到很驚訝。可是當我經歷過今年滑浪風帆之旅後,我卻另有一番領悟。   Too old for adventure? Your life has just begun at 50s! Boracay trip part one🏄👧 . Stay tuned to our Boracay trip part two video! Lots of fun to share! Video courtesy: Headmaster Herbert Ng . #blog #travelblog #curvo #boracay #windsurfing #windsurfdiary #hksport #kitesurf #windsurf #travel #beach #paradise #sea #bluesea #ecofriendly #ad...


Leave a comment